


What Will It Take To Get You To Invite Me Over?

by lemonmangosorbet



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Albert is a cat, Canon Compliant, Cat!Albert, Established Relationship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Season/Series 02, Yep you read that tag right, an Oriental Shorthair to be exact lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 17:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15418005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonmangosorbet/pseuds/lemonmangosorbet
Summary: Staring back at him were large green eyes, an enormous pair of ears, and a mass of short black fur. Staring back at Albert was a cat. He was the cat in the mirror.My fic forSmall Fandom Fest 23and a gift for Kami, based on his prompt:Regular canon, except Albert wakes up in his Great Northern hotel room one morning to find he has been transformed into a cat (Oriental Shorthair)





	What Will It Take To Get You To Invite Me Over?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kamidog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamidog/gifts).



> If you don't know what an Oriental Shorthair looks like or sounds like, I highly recommend you check out this video of [Teddy the honking cat](https://youtu.be/qUM9tQq7b8Q) :')

It was early morning, and the sound of birdsong woke Albert from his slumber. For a moment, mind still foggy with sleep and dreams, Albert didn’t know where he was. But the birdsong reminded him he was not in his apartment in Seattle; he was in Twin Peaks, and the memories of the last few days came flooding back.

 

Albert was in Twin Peaks again, looking for any clues that might help the FBI’s investigation into Coop’s disappearance. It had been months now, soon a year, but Gordon insisted he return to the little town in the mountains in case they missed anything. It wasn’t just Coop’s disappearance though; Gordon must have caught wind of Albert’s blossoming relationship with the local Sheriff. Albert was convinced Diane was the one feeding the gossip to Cole, or perhaps Gordon thought it was strange that Albert actually wanted to use his vacation days recently, rather than be forced to take them.

 

It was all rather strange and new for both Albert and Harry. They’d only been dating for a few weeks; Harry had commented the other day that soon it would be their two month anniversary, but they were taking things very slow. They were both still raw from the loss not only of Coop, but of so many others too. Their relationship was a shining light born from a lot of tragedy and misfortune, but both were cautious to run into anything at full speed. Albert didn’t mind though; any time he could get with Harry was worth it, and they could take things as slow as they needed to.

 

Thoughts of Harry turned to thoughts of the previous night’s events. Harry and Albert had eaten at the Double R. Norma had conveniently produced a vegetarian special; Albert was sure Harry was behind it. Then after dinner they retired to the Great Northern for a nightcap at the hotel’s bar. That’s when Albert had started feeling unwell. He didn’t want to blame the food at the diner, and he was sure it wasn’t the one drink he’d had at the bar; he had a better tolerance for alcohol than that. Despite his reluctance to leave Harry’s company early, Albert went to bed after his one drink claiming to be tired after a long day. Of course, Harry had said it was fine, but he couldn’t hide the slight disappointment from his soft brown eyes. Albert still had a few more days in Twin Peaks; there were more opportunities for them to spend the evening together.

 

However, Albert awoke still feeling not quite himself, much to his disappointment. He hadn’t closed his curtains properly last night in his rush to get to sleep, and the morning sun was streaming though the gap onto his bed and warming him. He still had his eyes closed but he was fully conscious now, and he stretched to get the sleep out of his body. Something didn’t feel right. Why did the bed feel so much bigger?

 

He opened his eyes to find he was buried in bed sheets. Albert had to dig his way out of them, and when he was free, he noticed the bed was much higher off the bedroom floor than it had been the night before. Albert did not scare easily, but he could feel his heart racing as he noticed that he hadn’t dug his way out of bedding with hands. He was looking down at two small fuzzy paws.

 

Without hesitation he leapt from the bed and ran to the full length mirror in his hotel room. Staring back at him were large green eyes, an enormous pair of ears, and a mass of short black fur. Staring back at Albert was a cat. He was the cat in the mirror.

 

Albert tried to shout out in shock, but all that came out of him was a soft ‘honk’ sound; it was too pathetic to even describe as a ‘meow’. He paced the floor in front of the full length mirror, his mind chaotic because for once in his life, he wasn’t sure what to do.

 

He paused and stared at the cat, no, himself in the mirror.

 

_ ‘Get a hold of yourself Rosenfield. You are not going to accomplish anything by running around like a headless chicken. Think! I need help right now, but I’m not really capable of using a phone. Even if I can dial a number, I doubt anyone on the other end will understand cat. I need to find someone to help me. … Harry.’ _

 

 

* * *

 

Albert was starting to realise why they’d never walked from the Sheriff’s station or the Double R to the Great Northern, or vice versa. The journey wasn’t too long by car, and perhaps if you were walking at a brisk pace you could do it in under two hours. However, for a cat with a much shorter stride, Albert wasn’t sure how long this was going to take. He couldn’t keep up a running pace either, especially on an empty stomach. He was beginning to worry that he might not make it to the Sheriff’s department until the late evening, unless he collapsed from exhaustion before then. He tried to shake the thought from his mind as he kept trotting along on the tarmac that weaved through the Douglas firs.

 

It must have been about midday going by the position of the sun high above him; he wished his fur was not a colour that absorbed the heat. He would have been able to make this journey to the Sheriff’s station earlier if the damn maid had come into his room sooner to make the bed. She hadn’t turned up until about 11:00 am, and then Albert had to try his best to leave the room unnoticed. He had no idea what the other gormless idiots of this town would do upon finding him; probably lock him up in the nearest animal shelter and then he really would be in trouble. But for some reason, he knew that if he could find Harry, everything would be okay.

 

Albert had started to come to terms with his current situation. He wasn’t an expert on cat breeds, but he was sure he was an Oriental Shorthair. He was annoyed; why couldn’t he have been a more handsome breed, like Siamese? He tried his hardest to look on the bright side, always a struggle for him but especially now considering his current situation. At least he wasn’t a longhair breed. If he was feeling exhausted by the sun now, he might have collapsed already if he was a longhair.

 

As concern grew in Albert’s heart and he was unsure how much farther he had to go, he could hear the sound of a car approaching. He turned to look, and to his relief, it was one of the Sheriff’s department cars.

 

_ ‘Harry!’ _

 

Albert tried to make himself visible by approaching the middle of the road; probably not a smart move, but he was desperate to be seen, and even more desperate given this could be Harry. It worked; he could see the vehicle using it’s brake lights and indicating to the right as it slowed down and pulled over.

 

However, it was not the handsome Sheriff that was Albert’s saviour. Instead it was Deputy Brennan. Disappointment would have been an understatement.

 

“Hey Mr Kitty, what are you doing all the way out here?”

 

Andy scratched his head as he approached Albert, tentatively reaching out a hand to see if the cat was friendly.

 

Albert sat firmly in the spot he occupied on the road.

 

_ ‘Nevermind. Leave me here Deputy Dimwit.’ _

 

His words came out as a pathetic honk, which slightly startled the Deputy. Undeterred though, Andy continued to reach out until he was able to gently pat Albert on the head.

 

_ ‘This is humiliating.’ _

 

“Aw, nice kitty.” Andy smiled, “But what are you doing all the way out here without anybody? Are you lost Mr Kitty?”

 

_ ‘I’m not lost you imbecile! It’s just taking me all fucking day to walk to the Sheriff’s station like this.’ _

 

“You’re a chatty cat, aren’t you?”

 

Andy rose from his crouched position and towered over Albert, placing his hands on his hips as he contemplated what to do next.

 

“Oh! I know! You must be thirsty. It’s a hot one today Mr Kitty.”

 

The Deputy returned to his car; Albert remained in his spot, still skeptical that Andy was going to be of much help to him. He returned with a bottle of water, which made Albert tilt his head in interest. Without a bowl, Andy had to pour it into his cupped hand and then he offered it to the cat.

 

Albert was very thirsty, he couldn’t deny that. This time his needs would outweigh his stubbornness. He lapped it up, more eagerly than he wanted to.

 

“Good kitty. You must have been real thirsty.”

 

Albert looked up at the Deputy, who wore the stupidest grin on his face, and Albert tried to muster his most scathing look.

 

_ ‘Never speak of this to anyone.’ _

 

After Albert had his fill of water, Andy stood and shook his hand dry, hands returned to his hips and he looked puzzled, like something was troubling him.

 

“I can’t leave you here. It wouldn’t be very responsible of me if I did.” he spoke aloud, “But I am in the middle of an investigation for Sheriff Truman.”

 

At the mention of Harry’s name, Albert proceeded to circle Andy’s legs and honk loudly, much to the Deputy’s surprise.

 

“Okay! Okay! I won’t leave you here, don’t worry!”

 

He leaned over to scoop up the cat. To the sensation of being picked up, Albert yelped in surprise and tried to wriggle free, but Deputy Brennan had a firm hold of him.

 

_ ‘Unhand me you oversized buffoon! I’m perfectly capable of walking to the car myself!’ _

 

“It’s okay little fella, I’m just going to get you in my car and then I know where to take you.”

 

Albert didn’t cease his squirming and soon enough he was being deposited on the passenger’s seat of Andy’s car. He gave Albert another cheesy grin, pleased with himself for doing a good job, and then closed the passenger door gently. He ran around the vehicle to his own seat, and soon they were off.

 

Luckily, Andy was a cautious driver, but nevertheless, Albert curled up on his seat and dug his claws into the fabric so he could feel more secure. He looked up at Andy, who’s attention was solely focused on the road in front of them.

 

_ ‘Typical, I run into Twin Peak’s version of Dr Doolittle and it turns out to be Brennan. Well at least I’m on my way to Harry now…’ _

 

Albert was able to relax a little at this thought.

 

They continued driving through the landscape of trees for a while; Albert was frustrated by his lack of a wristwatch so he could check the time. Then Andy started indicating left and he slowly made the turn.

 

“We’re almost there little buddy. Don’t you worry.”

 

_ ‘Almost where? It’s doesn’t seem like we’re close enough to the station.’ _

 

Albert sat up at this point, and his stomach sunk when he saw the sign on the small building they were pulling up to. It read:

 

**Lydecker Veterinary Clinic.**


End file.
